The Exorcist

5/5

Okay I know what you are thinking: “sweet, sweet Pierce, bless your heart but I don’t like scary movies.” I get it. I don’t either. The last scary movie I saw was Jaws.

But you have to watch The Exorcist. Stay with me:

Our expedition begins in a likely place for a Georgetown based horror flick, Iraq. That’s right - you are swept into the desert, where lots of yellows and bright sun contrast nicely with the coming gloom and doom of DC. But not so fast, the film meanders here perfectly (I define perfectly as almost to the point where you wonder if you put in Indiana Jones by accident, but not enough to actually go check) until suddenly the archeologist begins to look a lot paler. Then out of the Oxford blue, an ominous occult obelisk obfuscates the obvious, that this obsidian idol is only the opener. And this reality becomes clear the first time you see Father Karras, the soft melodies of Synthesia sends chills down your spine. You suddenly remember the truth, fuck who talked me into watching the Exorcist?!?

But here we are. And our clerical hero is off to a rocky start. He confesses to his psychiatric colleague over a beer that “some of their problems come down to faith, their vocation and meaning of their lives, and I can't cut it anymore. I need out. I'm unfit. I think I've lost my faith.” He is worried about his mother, having health issues of her own; we see him gingerly tuck her in when he goes to check up on her. It’s hard to remember that our priest is a mama’s boy in between the pummeling of his boxing sessions. He may look like Mr. Balboa, but his punches will likely be no match for “Captain Howdy.”

Who is this Captain Howdy you might ask? Only your worst nightmare. The first glimpses of this aberration are during Regan’s shrink session. To put it bluntly, the demon inside poor Regan takes this psychiatrist’s line of questioning by the balls (this metaphor will only be appreciated after you watch the movie), showing that this ethereal commander is not to be trifled with by novel social science hypothesizes and simple hypnosis. It is one of my favorite scenes. The onset of the occult.

But there are so many small details in this movie I enjoy, it hard to get to everything. Her mother’s devolution from superstar actress to shawls and sunglasses. The distant father and the coincidental “window accident” of Regan’s mother’s new suitor. The private investigator that gets caught in a lie and really just wants an autograph. I briefly mention all these items to illustrate how The Exorcist is a deeply intricate tale, it doesn’t rely on cheap tricks or jump scares to bewilder you. No, unfortunately as Father Merrin points out the strategy is to “mix lies with the truth to attack us. The attack is psychological… and powerful. So don't listen to [the demon]. Remember that - do not listen.”

But that isn’t to discount the effects that do happen in the movie. It is truly astonishing what the director, William Friedkin, was able to accomplish in a time before the airbag. After seeing what The Exorcist was capable of in 1973, it kind of made me glad that it was done in a time before CGI or digital edits as it has a unique impact when watching it fifty years later - a lot of the effects are pretty cheesy; yet they still manage to give you goosebumps. It speaks to how well-done they really are. And I won’t go into further details as I don’t want to spoil the surprises in the film, but if you do want to geek out check out this article on how each effect was achieved (just don’t peak before seeing the film!).

I also would be remiss if I didn’t mention the face. To be honest, I feel dirty looking at it. The boons of technology allow for indulgences we ought not to partake in sometimes. You see, the face you see in the above picture only appears for about an 1/8th of a second (in fact, a VCR didn’t even have the ability to pause at that level of fidelity; it was destined to be untraceable until the DVD). An 1/8th of a second is just enough time for you to register you saw something, but not long enough for you to see it. Just enough for it to let your imagination run wild, but not enough for you to realize that it really isn’t that scary. And I think this is a good allegory for the experience as a whole. The Exorcist pits your mind against you. It takes you in, gives you a warm bowl of soup, and slowly dims the lights before it exploits your false sense of security. And if that isn’t enough to compel you, I guess I’ll need to break out the cross.

TL;DR: The Exorcist is a movie that both defined the horror genre and continues to transcend it. It doesn’t care that it is almost 50 years old, it will still scare the crap out of you. Even if you don’t like creepy movies, you owe it to yourself to watch just this one. And I suggest you sit down to see it tonight because choosing to hide in trepidation for another 50 years won’t help, age has nothing on this masterpiece’s ability to awe and frighten. 5/5.